Top Five Lessons Learned From Cheaters That I Have Known and Loved

After a certain age we have either been the victims of cheating, perpetrators of cheating or observers of cheating. As Eliot Spitzer recently showed us, the cheating eventually comes to light. Although most of us are fortunate enough not to have our indiscretions publicized for the world, we generally don’t want them publicized for our beloved either…

I don’t approve of or condone cheating. However, since I pride myself on being smart, I am always appalled when people get caught because they were just really stupid. It’s as if we learned nothing as children when we got our hands caught in the cookie jar. We generally got caught then because we broadcasted our guilt. We made too much noise; left a pile of crumbs on the counter or got greedy and went back for one more cookie. Despite getting punished, we failed to learn our lessons.

We attempt the same misdeed as adults without any more finesse. We got caught then and we get caught now, mostly because we are simply not that clever. Desire makes us stupid.

Recently, while riding the train, my friend overheard a couple who was embroiled in an affair. The couple laughed and joked about their last rendezvous. They vilified their spouses. They made plans for their next encounter. They simply shared with one another, like lovers do, with free flowing dialogue and lightness of heart–in full ear shot of everyone on the train. Because of their carelessness, my friend and I became convinced that they are bound to get caught sooner or later.

As that scenario demonstrates, most cheaters inadvertently confess and get caught. Once I was dining at a local Chinese Buffet and went to say hello to my uncle who was dining at another table. As luck would have it, he was dining with a woman who was not my aunt. Had he not looked so damned guilty, I probably would not have thought twice about it. However, I later learned that the family suspected that he had been cheating “for years”. Like Columbus, I was simply lucky enough to discover it.

Another time, a significant other and I were on the freeway a couple of exits from his uncle’s home. As we drove, we noticed his uncle’s distinctive personalized license plates. We sped up to say “hello” only to find his uncle in the car with a woman who was not his wife. Again, we wouldn’t have thought twice about it, if his uncle hadn’t looked so damned scared. My confirmation came the next time I saw his uncle. He was sweating bullets and begging me to “keep my mouth shut”. I guess it’s too late for that now. (It’s a good thing the significant other is history!)

Last year, there was a very public scandal involving a Wal-Mart executive who disputed her termination only to learn that the Wal-Mart had a detailed record of her dalliances with a co-worker. The “love” between the executive and her co-worker was exposed in the paper for all to read. Wal-Mart proved that they are not to be played with. They had photographs, testimony, and emails. One email read, “I miss you ridiculously”, kind of hard to justify that as work related. Not only was the relationship against Wal-Mart’s policy, both parties were married. Wal-Mart’s methods notwithstanding, the case is instructive.

1. Email is not your friend: It is impossible to engage in “harmless” flirtation on email. Emails have a way of getting forwarded around the planet and before you know it, you too will be either divorced or on Inside Edition.

2. Discretion is a virtue: Discussing your affair in public is simply a don’t. You do not know who your partner knows. Don’t be surprised if you see someone who overheard your conversation at your spouse’s office Christmas party. You might as well invest in an “I am so stupid that I discuss my affair on the train fund” so that you can pay off the harmless eavesdropper.

3. Infidelity is the Mother of Imagination: Each time that I have caught people cheating, I have been amazed that they were either near home or in a restaurant frequented by family and friends. Find a new routine, a cheater’s routine. While I do believe that all cheaters will be caught eventually, I believe that the aggrieved spouse will feel somewhat better if they don’t find out that you took the person to the local restaurant around the corner.

4. Stupidity is the gift that keeps on giving: Unless you are intent on being caught, do not try to save gas by cheating in the neighborhood or in your own bed. You will get caught faster and feel doubly stupid.

5. Don’t Cheat at Work: I used to be chummy with some security guards in my old building. The confessed to me that they had caught numerous people engaged in compromising behavior in stairwells, conference rooms, and the parking garage. As the ole adage goes, “get a room!” For the record, unbeknownst to all of those cheaters, their acts are preserved on film. If you are engaged in this practice, STOP and become very generous with your security guards at Christmas.

6. Bonus: Simply Shut Up: If you are intent on engaging in infidelity, keep it to yourself. By sharing your story with your friends, you are compromising their integrity and increasing the likelihood that you’ll get caught. So, don’t do it.

For the record, I believe that cheating is immoral and bad practice. However, I recognize that I can only influence my own relationship. Still, I firmly believe that cheaters ought not compound the sin by engaging in stupidity. That’s just insulting…

Magic and the Photograph

It was widely reported in the press (15 September 1997) that a British tourist, who stole a lump of stone from the base of the Great Pyramid five years earlier, returned it to the Cairo Museum with a letter saying that ‘it had brought him bad luck ever since’. The Museum authorities were not surprised; several such items had been returned by people who felt cursed {When the Luxor Casino was built in Las Vegas it moved on its foundation so the elevators had a lot of re-engineering to be done, while I lived in Las Vegas. The death toll during its construction was nine. Do you think a religious and spiritual force knows when it is being improperly sullied?} after stealing them. A good reason for caution is the largely bogus story of an Egyptian coffin lid – or fragment of a coffin lid. It was told to Arthur Weigall, author of ‘Tutankhamen’ (1923) by its one-time owner, Mr. Douglas Murray who purchased the coffin some time in the 1860s: ‘no sooner had he done so than he lost his arm, owing to the explosion of his gun. The ship in which the coffin was sent home was wrecked, and so was the cab in which it was driven from the docks; the house in which it was deposited was burnt down; and the photographer who made a picture of it shot himself. A lady who had some connection with it suffered great family losses, and was wrecked at sea shortly afterwards…The list of accidents and misfortunes charged to the spirit which is connected with this coffin is now of enormous length.

The presence of an Egyptian mummy on board is sometimes blamed for the loss of the ‘Titanic’. It was said to have been shipped to New York on the supposedly unsinkable liner. Its coffin, no.22542 in the British Museum, is associated with the curse, and Museum authorities caution people who propose to photograph it.” (2)

Negative self-fulfilling expectations are a difficult thing for people to deal with in conjunction with the sorcerers’ art. This is the concept of the ‘War Bottle’ that turns your idiosyncrasies into more unbalanced certitudes that makes a strength become a fatal weakness. It is also the nature of energy that caused a large number of early North American Indians to forego the vanity of having their picture taken. Some of them listened to their wise men talk of the soul being frozen in the minds of those who would see the picture, and thus their spirit would not grow with them. There certainly is truth to the fact that our thoughts impact others. Our thoughts are energy and the thoughts of many people who thought negatively about the ‘stupid savages’ may have had just the impact the shamans and witch-doctors were certain would happen. The curse of humanity is that our soulful energy deceives our ego into thinking we are powerful. The ego doesn’t understand. ‘WE’ is not ‘me’!


Reversing candles are a great thing to protect yourself from the intent of people sending negative energy at you, but talismans and mandalas galore have been most reliable for the minor flare-ups. The cross is a mandala with four entry points for the assimilation of the four primary forces to become balanced at the ‘center’. What you choose for faith in your goodness has much to do with your actual protection. In many ways a ritualistic process opens you through your own energy to the very things you project. This is true in the macrocosm of humanity as well as in the insipid little parcels of power-mongering flesh that think they deserve more than the numerous other life forms that have soul and ethics.

One person (or persons) sought to make me suffer and there were some disturbing physical responses. The individuals involved were gay and they had hit on me numerous times. My response was a joke or a simple ‘not my style’. One of them was in charge of three covens of witches and fancied himself the meanest ‘SOB’ in the Las Vegas Valley. He had a lot of good knowledge about Biblical origins and history and I enjoyed talking with him. The more he tried to impress me the less he succeeded. I made it clear I did not fear him or anything.

The day my penis started to bleed was when I actually thought I might need more than my usual ‘mirror and cross’ visualization. I used a reversing candle and within a day the place where Lord Gandolph holed up when he was in Las Vegas was burned. His boyfriend (who had enjoyed my leather pants and boots) lost all of his belongings. This caused me to leave the teaching of the Wiccans after six months of ‘Perfect Love, and Perfect Trust’! About a year later I discovered the high priestess had thought I was a ‘Machiavellian Prince sent to overturn her Temple’ and Lord Gandolf was one of her Temple Elders. There are many actual reasons why I know such things occur and I will relate them as it seems pertinent from time to time. The pursuit of ‘siddhis’ (powers) is a quest that robs one of their actual potential according to Alcyon who rejected his Messiahhood at the age of eight; later he became honoured even more for his truth. You may have seen or heard about this great man who recently left our physical place of reference – his name is Jiddhu Krishnamurti.

7 Wedding Day Makeup Tips From a Wedding Photographer

Ah hair and makeup. The thing you do every single day, that comes so simply. Little eye liner, light blush, pale lipstick, cover up for that stupid little pimple that decided to pop up over night, and out the door! FAIL!

Your wedding day makeup needs to be bumped up. If you go for your normal day look – the browns, beiges, nude lips, pale pink, etc. that’s gotta come up a couple notches. First, pictures look SO much better when you have depth in your eyes, cheeks and your lips can sparkle. My biggest recommendation for a bride on her wedding day – OUTSOURCE. Get a makeup artist in there to do your makeup and hire a hair stylist to come to your hotel and do your hair! Better yet, find someone who does both! Don’t make yourself fret about this detail when the cost is usually nominal. On a budget? You could work out a plan with the Makeup Artist to do your ladies for a specific amount each, and they pay that amount. This is your day, all eyes will be on you. Do it. Oh, and I know people so let me know if you need referrals.

Of course, some of you won’t heed my advice. So here’s my basic makeup tips for the bride trying to be a Do-It-Yourselfer.

1) Color color color is NOT always your friend. Choose ONE feature you want to emphasize. Your eyes, or lips, or cheeks. (Emphasizing your cheeks is difficult to do without looking like a clown, so I would stick to the first two!)

2) Even if you don’t *emphasize* the eyes you still want to be sure you give them depth. What do I mean by depth? Give the eye shape dimension. If going natural, use a dark brown, medium brown, and a light brown. The dark brown gets applied in the crease. The medium brown on the outside edge of the top lid and fading into the other corner of the eye. The light brown goes from the crease and blends upward to the brow bone. You will also want to blend some of the light brown color in the part of your lid nearest to your nose. Dab at that crease and blend the color up towards your brow bone to open up your eyes.

3) Get your eyebrows waxed, threaded, plucked, tweased, trimmed, Nair’d, or something! You don’t want those cutsie lovey dovey close-up photos ending up with crazy, erratic eyebrow madness! (The trimmed part can definitely work for the gentleman too!)

4) My favorite makeup is M-A-C. It’s more expensive, but DAMN it does a great job. Get yourself some high-definition makeup and make those M-A-C reps show you how to do it! It’s what they are there for – but make sure they don’t think you want to look like a drag queen!

5) False Eyelashes. NOT the Halloween ones!! Use the separates. They are little clusters of fake eyelashes that you press into place. And don’t press them all over your eye lid. Use them to emphasize the outside corners of your eyes. Your eyes will pop, sparkle, and shine all over the place.

6) SHIMMER POWDER! It’s amazing. Put it on the area right under your eyebrow to emphasize the brow bone.

7) Practice makes perfect. Practice before the day of so you can hone your skills and have your makeup perfect for the actual day-of.